I did say in my recent post that I have been in my writing cave! 2025 has seen me writing my third book – my memoir of autism and postnatal PTSD. The book is well under way now and I am looking to have my manuscript ready for publishing in 2026. Here is a sneak peak thus far…
Hi there, just peeking out into the sunshine from my writing cave! Life has been busy in recent weeks as I have republished my book as a second edition. It is now a standard size and, with removal of the blank pages for journalling, it is much more compact and easier to read through.
This book has such a dear place in my heart and it is my hope that it will likewise find it’s way into the hands – and hearts – of anyone grieving the loss of their baby.
Here is a little bit more about the book…
Pregnancy loss has a profound impact and it is often a silent grief. Parents feel vulnerable and overwhelmed by the trauma and memories of their loss. It leaves them needing a safe haven, a soft place to fall and simply be with their grief.
Author, Julie Ann Bryant, is passionate about writing down the things that are important, especially in the context of grief and trauma. Journalling can provide us with a means for tapping into our thoughts, of expressing them, of giving them a voice. Journalling can be our safe place, our safe haven, where we can simply be with our grief. It can help us make sense of the senseless. It can help us process our memories over time. It can preserve those memories.
My Baby, My Grief, My Love can be that safe place for you. This book is designed to help you tell your own story of love and loss in your own words. In telling you a little of her own story as well, Julie Ann hopes this will help you feel less alone in your experience and that it will help you feel understood and validated in this most traumatic event of your life.
Most of all, she hopes that as time goes on, you will see that your grief is actually a beautiful expression of your love that keeps you emotionally connected to your sweet baby. He/she may no longer be in your arms, but they are safe in your heart and there you carry them with each brave step you take, every day, for the rest of your life.
My Baby, My Grief, My Love is the perfect tool to help you write your own pregnancy loss story and find a positive way forward.
Read an excerpt of the book.
Listen as Julie Ann talks about her book (duration: 5 minutes).
For more information, visit my webpage
Every year on 15th October at 7pm I light a candle in memory of Meggie, our other babies conceived and lost through the IVF process, together with all the other children known to us who have also grown their angel wings – too many to name individually, but each one precious, irreplaceable and so very loved and missed.
October is Baby Loss Awareness Month and this is an important opportunity to acknowledge the impact that pregnancy and infant loss has on the families who are left behind to grieve. It can also be a special time to touch base with your loved ones and let them know you still remember their little babies…
For more information, visit my webpage
I think the greatest myth, when it comes to grief, is that time heals all things. It does not. Grief is a process that we have to work our way through. We have to engage ourselves in that process, expressing our grief in a way that is natural and congruent to how we feel. This is, I believe, where the healing process begins – where we learn to honour our loss, create meaning out of it and embrace what life has yet to offer.
At some point or other, grief will be a part of our life experience. None of us are exempt from experiencing loss and the feelings of grief that will naturally follow. How we grieve is individual. We can’t ignore it or run away from it. We grieve because we first loved. Grief is an expression of our love. Allow it. Honour it. Understand it. And seek to create meaning out of it.
For more information, visit my webpage
Lately I have been reminded of what a precious gift life is. Last weekend we farewelled a much-loved member of our family. Ginj joined our household as a tiny, mischievous and very endearing eight-week-old kitten. He grew up with our boys and was their affectionate, faithful and constant companion through the years.
I would find it hard to describe Ginj in just one word. He was quirky. He didn’t care that litterboxes aren’t for sleeping in. His covered litterbox on the back deck was the perfect safe haven for an afternoon snooze. He was a fierce hunter. His gift of a live red-belly black snake triggered enough adrenaline to last us a week! We were also gifted with the occasional mouse.
He was friendly to the nth degree. The neighbourhood children knew him well and would look forward to his little visits. He used to keep an eye out for one of the local dogs on their daily walk, where a rough and tumble on the grass together became their daily ritual. He also enjoyed our morning walks to and from school, sometimes parting ways with me on the way home to go on his own little adventure.
He loved the smell of strong coffee, he was a cat of exceptionally good taste after all. He also was a master of self-discipline, taking the concept of yoga and putting his own personal stamp on it in the form of Relaxercise; That is, the art of holding a leg stretch – like REALLY holding the stretch – whilst in a complete state of deep relaxation. He had also mastered the art of removing (and hiding) every collar we attempted to put on him.
But I think by far his most favourite thing to do was to snuggle up in bed at the end of the day with either of our sons. That and having a human escort to his feed bowl (several times a day) so that we could tell him what a good boy he was.
He also had a sixth sense. I recall one morning when we were getting ready for school, some 10 years ago, Ginj was running across the loungeroom and throwing himself against the wall, running back to the lounge and back again to throw himself against the wall. He did this several times and we thought he was just being frisky, which often happened on really windy days. Some 14 hours after his frenzied behaviour, however, our youngest son had a massive tonic clonic seizure. In the early hours of the following morning in the hospital emergency ward, as we recounted this story to the nurses, it dawned on us all that Ginj had sensed that something was up and he was trying to warn us. From that time forward we always knew, if he was frisky to the extreme like that again, then to close pay attention.
On his final day with us in the physical sense, unable to steady himself on his feet, I carried him from his litterbox in the laundry to his favourite spot on the lounge. I cradled him in my arms and he rested his head against my neck. As his body moulded into the shape of mine, for a fleeting moment, he gave me the memory of holding my newborn babies once again.
We had 16 years of this little angel in a fur-coat living amongst us. In a matter of weeks, his health declined and our vet diagnosed him with stage III kidney disease. We didn’t know how long he would last and what quality of life he would have as the disease progressed. He lived and died knowing how very loved he is and will always be. And now, our twin daughter Meggie has a new heavenly companion by her side.
I hope that in some small way my words today have resonated with you… Always remember that life is precious and love is forever.
Until the next time, stay safe and well,
Julie Ann Bryant
For more information, visit my webpage
Did you know that the first Sunday of May – the week before the traditional Mother’s Day – is the International Bereaved Mother’s Day? This beautiful initiative was established in 2010 as a way of recognising the grief of women who have had a child die or who have been unable to realise their dream of becoming a mother. It is a special opportunity for women to honour the children who are no longer in their arms, and to honour themselves as the mother of that child. It is a day where they can acknowledge their loss and reflect on their journey of grief through the years.
A friend and I recently had an interesting conversation about the long and complicated process of IVF. We talked about how even the loss of a blastocyst – the fertilised egg in it’s pre-embryonic state – can be a devastating and emotional loss when a couple is going through IVF. Having walked in those shoes myself many years ago, I know so much emotion and hope is invested in the process of conceiving through IVF and of how devastating it is when those blastocysts succumb during the five days leading up to transfer. They may just be eggs, however, for a couple dearly wanting to start their family – to welcome a child into their lives – those eggs are their hope for the future. You only have to look in the mirror to see the potential held in each of those little babies lost along the way.
In my book, From One Twin Mum To Another, I talk about how “a loss is a loss is a loss” and that the stage of pregnancy when the baby died isn’t relevant. What is relevant is that this baby, no matter how early, no matter how small, meant the world to the grieving parents. When a couple receives the exciting news that they are pregnant, they start to build their emotional bond with their unborn baby, and the strength of that bond grows as the pregnancy progresses. Their baby becomes an important part of their future. And when their baby dies, their deep sense of loss is profound.
I have realised through the years that twin loss is a less-known and understood area of pregnancy loss and it can be a silent grief. That’s what I love about the concept of International Bereaved Mother’s Day. It provides an opportunity to say your baby’s name out loud, to acknowledge him/her as your son/daughter… to do something special in his/her memory… to do something that helps maintain your emotional connection with him/her… something that makes your heart feel glad (even through the sadness).
It is also an opportunity to reflect on how you might want to approach the more traditional Mother’s day next week. As a grieving parent, I have learnt that those family-oriented days require us to be self-aware so that we can approach those days with our self-care as a priority.
Nobody knows you, your grief and your needs in quite the way that you do, so it makes perfect sense to apply good self-care and keep things as manageable as possible. I think any grieving person will find that some days of the year are just harder to get through (and they are as equally hard to avoid). Again, in my book I look at self-care in the following four categories:
MENTAL WELL-BEING
• Factor in some me-time for yourself every day and while you are at it, do more of the things that bring you joy!
• Know what helps you get through the tough days (and also be mindful of what isn’t helpful).
• For those days that you find just that little bit harder, consider what will help you maintain a sense of equilibrium. You may want to give yourself some time and space to allow some moments of grief, just as much as enjoying other moments. Give yourself permission to do both.
PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
• As much as you are able, take good care of yourself – I am sure you will know what your needs are.
• As often as you can, factor in some fresh air and sunshine (and at the same time, some serotonin, which is also good for our mental well-being).
SOCIAL NEEDS
• As lovely as it is to spend time with others, do you need to balance that with some me-time?
• Do the expectations that others have of you align with your own expectations of yourself?
• Know who, in your wider circles, helps provide you with emotional safety.
SPIRITUAL CONNECTION
• Your grief is an important part of your emotional connection with your loved one who has died. There is beauty in your love and grief – allow it and honour it.
• Do something to nurture that ongoing emotional connection – something that is of personal meaning to you – that brings you some peace and makes you smile (albeit through the tears) when you think of your loved one.
At these family-oriented times, whatever it is that helps keep it all manageable for you – that’s what you need to do. Make yourself a priority so that the way you approach those harder days will feel much more congruent with who you are, of your grief and of meeting your own needs.
I hope that, in some small way, my words today have resonated with you.
Until the next time, stay safe and well,
Julie Ann Bryant
For more information, visit my webpage
During the week my Busybird Publishing family posted this Q&A interview to their website blog and I thought it timely to share it here.
I am always ever so grateful for the opportunity to talk about my book and to open up the conversations around pregnancy loss in general and twin loss in particular.
I hope you enjoy reading this!
Julie Ann Bryant
For more information, visit my webpage
The vibrant colours of these grevillea flowers, adorned with raindrops glistening in the sunshine like jewels, caught my eye. Maybe it’s just me, but I think they look a little Christmassy. Speaking of Christmas, it is fast approaching “that” time of the year again. Once again, the holiday season is nearly upon us.
In the time since our loss, Christmas is the one family-oriented occasion that has left me with mixed feelings. On the one hand, there is the joy of sharing in the occasion with my husband and our children. Remembering back through the years, there is something quite magical about the excitement little children have waking up on Christmas morning, usually long before the sun rises! I always loved watching the expression on their little faces as they tore off the wrapping paper to discover a much wanted toy inside. For them, the anticipation of Christmas starts weeks in advance (no pressure!) and we have always tried to make it a wonderfully happy day for them.
On the other hand, the occasion feels quite bittersweet. For all of these years we haven’t had Meggie to share these joys with. Over 20 years on, I still wonder what it might have been like to have her here with us. Any parent who has lost a child will have that sense of wondering, especially at these family-oriented times.
The upcoming holiday season can be difficult emotionally to navigate. The ads on the telly want us to believe that Christmas is a wonderful time, full of togetherness with loved ones, of beautifully decorated Christmas trees and immaculately set tables, laden with food – a feast for the eyes and the stomach… where you’re left not wanting for anything by the end of the day.
As a grieving parent, I have learnt that those family-oriented days require us to be self-aware so that we can approach those days with our self-care as a priority.
Nobody knows you, your grief and your needs in quite the way that you do, so it makes perfect sense to apply good self-care and keep things as manageable as possible. I think any grieving person will find that some days of the year are just harder to get through (and they are as equally hard to avoid). In my book, From One Twin Mum To Another, I look at self-care in the following four categories:
MENTAL WELL-BEING
• Factor in some me-time for yourself every day and while you are at it, do more of the things that bring you joy!
• Know what helps you get through the tough days (and also be mindful of what isn’t helpful).
• For those days that you find just that little bit harder, consider what will help you maintain a sense of equilibrium. You may want to give yourself some time and space to allow some moments of grief, just as much as enjoying other moments. Give yourself permission to do both.
PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
• As much as you are able, take good care of yourself – I am sure you will know what your needs are.
• As often as you can, factor in some fresh air and sunshine (and at the same time, some serotonin, which is also good for our mental well-being).
SOCIAL NEEDS
• As lovely as it is to spend time with others, do you need to balance that with some me-time?
• Do the expectations that others have of you align with your own expectations of yourself?
• Know who, in your wider circles, helps provide you with emotional safety.
SPIRITUAL CONNECTION
• Your grief is an important part of your emotional connection with your loved one who has died. There is beauty in your love and grief – allow it and honour it.
• Do something to nurture that ongoing emotional connection – something that has great personal meaning to you – that brings you some peace and makes you smile (albeit through the tears) when you think of your loved one.
At these family-oriented times, whatever it is that helps keep it all manageable for you – that’s what you need to do. Make yourself a priority so that the way you approach those harder days will feel much more congruent with who you are, of your grief and of meeting your own needs.
Until the next time, stay safe and well,
Julie Ann
For more information, visit my webpage
This time of the year always has me thinking about my life and considering what my self-care may look like for the year ahead. I always feel this way through October. Maybe it is because I am an October baby myself and with each passing year, I am aware of how fleeting our time on this planet is. Maybe it is because October is also Baby Loss Awareness Month. As I write this, I guess it’s a mix of both. One thing I do know, I have always had a strong belief that I have something worthwhile to offer to the world and in recent months especially, making that a reality has been in the forefront of my thinking.
A number of years ago I was a volunteer crisis telephone counsellor and at that time I learnt the value of having a written self-care plan. Every year, in October, I go back to my written self-care plan, reflecting on the year that was, considering what the coming year may be, and I revise it accordingly. Being mentally well is very important to me and this is my way of keeping myself in check as far as self-awareness and self-efficacy are concerned. I don’t care too much for the fuss those outside of my own household make over my birthday and so, I’d like to think that this self-reflection is my gift to myself so that I can be the best version of me for my husband, my children and my close friends.
This subsequently brings me to my next point and of my “offering to the world’, my book. I hadn’t planned for it to land into the safe hands of my publishers in the month of October, it just happened that way. But now that I think about it, it is very appropriate that it has. This week, from Sunday 9th through to Saturday 15th October, is the international Baby Loss Awareness Week. Several times in my social media feeds I have seen the #BLAW hashtag with many grieving parents and health professionals posting beautiful, heartfelt and sometimes heartbreaking messages to shine a light on this very important area of loss and grief.
In a very real sense, my book From One Twin Mum To Another is there to raise awareness of multiple birth bereavement and it is with a great sense of excitement that I will be able to share it with the world when published. If you have had the heartbreaking experience of one of your twins dying before, during or after the birth, then my book is written with you in my thoughts.
Saturday, 15th October is the international Wave of Light, where candles are lit at 7pm as an act of remembrance and honouring the lives of babies who left this world all too soon. Almost a decade ago, mesmerised by the whole experience, I wrote these words:
I invite you to join with me in lighting a candle on Saturday at 7pm in your time zone.
I hope that, in some small way, my words today have resonated with you. It is my aim to write something specific about multiple birth bereavement on a regular basis.
Until the next time, stay safe and well,
Julie Ann
For more information, visit my webpage