This time of the year always has me thinking about my life and considering what my self-care may look like for the year ahead. I always feel this way through October. Maybe it is because I am an October baby myself and with each passing year, I am aware of how fleeting our time on this planet is. Maybe it is because October is also Baby Loss Awareness Month. As I write this, I guess it’s a mix of both. One thing I do know, I have always had a strong belief that I have something worthwhile to offer to the world and in recent months especially, making that a reality has been in the forefront of my thinking.
A number of years ago I was a volunteer crisis telephone counsellor and at that time I learnt the value of having a written self-care plan. Every year, in October, I go back to my written self-care plan, reflecting on the year that was, considering what the coming year may be, and I revise it accordingly. Being mentally well is very important to me and this is my way of keeping myself in check as far as self-awareness and self-efficacy are concerned. I don’t care too much for the fuss those outside of my own household make over my birthday and so, I’d like to think that this self-reflection is my gift to myself so that I can be the best version of me for my husband, my children and my close friends.
This subsequently brings me to my next point and of my “offering to the world’, my book. I hadn’t planned for it to land into the safe hands of my publishers in the month of October, it just happened that way. But now that I think about it, it is very appropriate that it has. This week, from Sunday 9th through to Saturday 15th October, is the international Baby Loss Awareness Week. Several times in my social media feeds I have seen the #BLAW hashtag with many grieving parents and health professionals posting beautiful, heartfelt and sometimes heartbreaking messages to shine a light on this very important area of loss and grief.
In a very real sense, my book From One Twin Mum To Another is there to raise awareness of multiple birth bereavement and it is with a great sense of excitement that I will be able to share it with the world when published. If you have had the heartbreaking experience of one of your twins dying before, during or after the birth, then my book is written with you in my thoughts.
Saturday, 15th October is the international Wave of Light, where candles are lit at 7pm as an act of remembrance and honouring the lives of babies who left this world all too soon. Almost a decade ago, mesmerised by the whole experience, I wrote these words:
I invite you to join with me in lighting a candle on Saturday at 7pm in your time zone.
I hope that, in some small way, my words today have resonated with you. It is my aim to write something specific about multiple birth bereavement on a regular basis.
Until the next time, stay safe and well,
Julie Ann
For more information, visit my webpage